I was four years old. I was scared of everything. I didn’t know better. It was a feeling that I was going to have to overcome. I heard the radio loud and clear and it said there was a man on the loose and he said that whoever he saw, he was going to kill. I went outside to play anyway looking over my shoulder at all times. I rode my bike close to home. No one watched me per say. In those days, they just peeked out now and then. When I came in the house that day, I didn’t go out for days.
I was looking for a stranger to present my danger. I never found him, Thank the Lord!
Now let’s talk about unforgiveness and how it divides-families, causes divisions, schisms and alienation.
If you are a born again believer, I have to ask you: Why did Jesus say about the thief? (the thief being Satan)
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
John 10: 10
We’ve got clear instruction in the New Testament: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. [Roman 13:9]
Some people say it’s the bible version of The Golden Rule. Clearly this will help families.
HOW UNFORGIVENESS STARTS IN FAMILIES
The problem with unforgiveness is very interesting. People might get mad when I say this, but it’s almost like we learn it as children; innocently at the hands of our parents. For instance, when the “favored” child commits an grievance against a sibling; the parents may be “lenient” in their punishment. Besides having to deal with the injustice, a child has to deal with the inability of the parents to meter out a justifiable punishment. I believe this can accelerate or justify unforgiveness in the heart of a child. This may be where the root takes place and it becomes a learned “behavior.”
UNFORGIVENESS IS A BEHAVIOR
We choose the way that we act. When we don’t forgive, it’s a choice. Maybe not for a little child, who hasn’t learned right or wrong, good or bad. Don’t fool yourself: UNFORGIVENESS IS A BEHAVIOR.
In families, people who you know and not strangers…there is disrespect, slander, gossip, pain, aggression, jealousy and envy. All of these factors can result in actions that cause the victim to have unforgiveness.
UNFORGIV’ING, a. Not forgiving; not disposed to overlook or pardon offenses; implacable.
We can understand a stranger bringing harm. We are all taught not to trust them. However, we aren’t raised to believe that our families will betray us. Our families are supposed to be our safe”cocoon” so to speak.
So even though we have to come to terms with it, the bible is clear; we have to overcome it!
Mt 6:12-AND FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS, AS WE FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS
Mt 6:14,15-FOR IF YOU FORGIVE MEN THEIR TRESPASSES, YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER WILL ALSO FORGIVE YOU: BUT IF YE FORGIVE NOT MEN THEIR TRESPASSES, NEITHER WILL YOUR FATHER FORGIVE YOUR TRESPASSES.
Eph 6:4-AND, YE FATHERS, PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH: BUT BRING THEM UP IN THE NURTURE AND ADMONITION OF THE LORD.
Eph 4:31-LET ALL BITTERNESS, AND WRATH, AND ANGER, AND CLAMOR, AND EVIL SPEAKING, BE PUT AWAY FROM YOU, WITH ALL MALICE.
Eph 4:26,27-BE YE ANGRY, AND SIN NOT. LET NOT THE SUN GO DOWN UPON YOUR WRATH (or set on your anger): NEITHER
|GIVE PLACE TO THE DEVIL (if you do, you give the devil opportunity to wreck your life).|
So the course and the Word is clear! There must be a better understanding of unforgiveness in families. Who is your family representative who will present the case? Will it be you? I hope so.